{"id":163,"date":"2022-07-08T00:34:20","date_gmt":"2022-07-07T20:34:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/aafa.ge\/?page_id=163"},"modified":"2022-07-08T01:28:23","modified_gmt":"2022-07-07T21:28:23","slug":"actuarial-jokes","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/aafa.ge\/en\/actuarial-jokes\/","title":{"rendered":"Actuarial jokes"},"content":{"rendered":"

1.\u00a0Question:<\/span><\/strong>\u00a0Why did actuary write in the will to bury him in Israel by all means<\/span><\/span>?
\nAnswer:\u00a0<\/strong>Chances of resurrection are bigger there.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

2.\u00a0An<\/strong>\u00a0actuary, an accountant, an old woman<\/strong>\u00a0and\u00a0a young girl\u00a0<\/strong>are travelling by train. The train enters a tunnel and a sound of slap is heard in darkness. Compartment lights up and the accountant has a trace of five fingers on the face.<\/span><\/span>
\nThe old woman thinks:\u00a0<\/span><\/strong>perhaps the accountant pinched the girl and she gave a slap.
\nThe blonde girl thinks:<\/strong>\u00a0Perhaps the accountant wanted to pinch me, but he pinched the old woman by mistake and she slapped him.
\nThe accountant thinks:<\/strong>\u00a0Perhaps the actuary pinched the blonde girl in darkness and she slapped me by mistake<\/span><\/span>.
\nThe actuary thinks:<\/strong>I wish the train would enter the next tunnel to give this damned accountant a slap back.<\/span><\/p>\n

3.\u00a0Two Georgians are speaking:<\/span><\/strong>
\n– You know, today I went to the insurance company and insured my land against fire and hail.
\n– So, fire is clear, but how are you going to cause hail?<\/span><\/p>\n

4.\u00a0English actuaries\u00a0<\/strong>\u10e1can exactly calculate how many people will die in 2005 and how many of them will be killed violently, but Sicilian actuaries even know their surnames<\/span><\/span>.<\/span><\/p>\n

5.\u00a0Actuaries<\/strong>\u00a0are people, who missed four years in a primary school, while other children learned simple words in kindergartens.<\/span><\/p>\n

6.\u00a0A doctor, an engineer<\/strong>\u00a0and\u00a0an<\/strong>\u00a0actuary<\/strong>\u00a0are arguing about whose profession is the oldest:
\nThe<\/strong>\u00a0doctor<\/strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0“God created Eva from Adam`s rib and this is a real surgical operation.”
\nThe<\/strong>\u00a0engineer<\/strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0“God had made chaos into order and that is engineers` business.”
\nThe<\/strong>\u00a0actuary<\/strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0“But how you think, who had caused the chaos?”<\/span><\/p>\n

7.\u00a0In workers` compensation insurance<\/strong>\u00a0pension is given to alive spouses till death or remarriage. So, marriage is an actual equivalent of death<\/span>.<\/span><\/p>\n

8.What does an actuary`s wife<\/strong>, do when she has insomnia?<\/span><\/span>
\nShe asks her husband: Dear, tell me again what do you do at work?<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

9.\u00a0What is insurance?<\/span><\/strong>
\nIt is the auto where the sale`s manager is pressing accelerator, the underwriter is pressing brake and the actuary is looking out from the rear-view and giving directions where to go<\/span>.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

1.\u00a0Question:\u00a0Why did actuary write in the will to bury him in Israel by all means? Answer:\u00a0Chances of resurrection are bigger there. 2.\u00a0An\u00a0actuary, an accountant, an old woman\u00a0and\u00a0a young girl\u00a0are travelling by train. The train enters a tunnel and a sound of slap is heard in darkness. Compartment lights up and the accountant has a trace<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-163","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/aafa.ge\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/163","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/aafa.ge\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/aafa.ge\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aafa.ge\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aafa.ge\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=163"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/aafa.ge\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/163\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":281,"href":"https:\/\/aafa.ge\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/163\/revisions\/281"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/aafa.ge\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=163"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}